Day 29: July 22nd

CURRENT WEIGHT 230 lbs (7/22 weigh-in)

Loss of 20 lbs so far (33%)

STARTING WEIGHT 250 lbs (6/24 weigh-in)

GOAL WEIGHT 190 lbs

I weighed myself and will post the pics next week. I lost a ton of weight so fast.

I haven’t really had solids. Just juicing and lots of it. Especially veggie juices. Feel sick and weak

I get my test this Thursday to see if the tumors got worse or better. Fingers crossed

My doc told me to add vegan protein shakes without sweeteners like stevia. So it is expense but let’s give it a try.

Twenty nine days in, 293 more to go

Day 26: July 19th

CURRENT WEIGHT 236.5 (7/8 weigh-in)

STARTING WEIGHT 250 lbs (6/24 weigh-in)

GOAL WEIGHT 190 lbs

I haven’t weighed myself because of my depression. I know I’ve lost quite a bit more weight.

I want to say I wear many masks. People at work see a caring, confident, motivated, happy man who loves his job and his co-workers. My family except my wife, son, and father don’t know I have cancer and only my sister knows I am getting divorced. Everyone else sees a happily married man who smiles and make jokes. But these are masks. Masks I wear well.

I cannot eat solids any more. Even a blueberry makes me nauseous. I have been juicing. I think the stomach tumor is the culprit. I haven’t felt any difference on the tumor on my lung or thyroid. I will find out if it got worse in a week. For now I am doing my weekly Vitamin intravenous treatments and veggie and fruit juices.

For now, I’ll just keep my mask on. I don’t want to drag others into my suffering. I remember how it traumatized my dad when my mom was dying of her cancer.

Twenty six days in, 296 more to go.

Day 19: July 12th

CURRENT WEIGHT 236.5 (7/8 weigh-in)

STARTING WEIGHT 250 lbs (6/24 weigh-in)

GOAL WEIGHT 190 lbs

Been hard but pushing through the depression and eating only fruit, veggies, nuts, and legumes. Been very hard. Very lonely

At least I worked out today. I am fighting my health alone. Some days it feels like there is no point to continue.

Nineteen days in, 303 more to go.

Day 15: July 8th

CURRENT WEIGHT 236.5 (7/8 weigh-in)

STARTING WEIGHT 250 lbs (6/24 weigh-in)

GOAL WEIGHT 190 lbs

I hit my target loss of 3 lbs. No pics, it’s been only 3 lbs. I think it’s more because I haven’t gone to the bathroom in three days.

I have been seriously depressed. I haven’t worked out all week. I just want to stay in bed and cry.

Fifteen days in, 307 more to go.

Day 12: July 5th

CURRENT WEIGHT 239.5 (7/1 weigh-in)

STARTING WEIGHT 250 lbs (6/24 weigh-in)

GOAL WEIGHT 190 lbs

I am targeting 3 pounds lost for next weigh in Sunday. I think 11 pounds was just the shock my body was in. We’ll see in a few days.

My wife now is apologizing for the way she has treated me for months. She said she read a book (which my therapist recommended) and she feels awful. She wants to make things right and is sorry for everything. It doesn’t make up for the months of torture but it is a start. We’ll see. She has turned her back on me many times when things got hard

FOOD: Green apple in the morning. Just ate my raw broccoli and celery. Feeling full. Cup of iced coffee and lots of water planned. Still got my bag of carrots, peppers, and cucumbers. My lentil and onions are for lunch with dinner being my power green shake with some apple and berries.

Twelve days in, 312 more to go.

Day 9: July 2nd

CURRENT WEIGHT 239.5 (7/1 weigh-in)

STARTING WEIGHT 250 lbs (6/24 weigh-in)

GOAL WEIGHT 190 lbs

Feeling good about my weight loss. Feeling good about my diet. Still very scared about the cancer but feeling more positive

My wife has now been extremely supportive and I don’t feel too alone any more. My son has been helping me and giving me food ideas. It feels good to know they want to help. I think I may consider other options if the diet does not do the job, they make my life seem so less dark. But then again, I know my mood changes fast. Today I want to be positive.

FOOD: I’m back to the nectarine in the morning. Just ate my raw broccoli and celery. Feeling full. Cup of iced coffee and lots of water planned. Still got my bag of carrots, peppers, and cucumbers. My lentil and onions are for lunch with dinner being my power green shake with some apple and berries.

Nine days in, 315 more.

Day 8: July 1st

Weigh in Day!

BEGIN WEIGHT 250 lbs (6/24 weigh-in)

NOW: 238.6 lbs – Lost over 11 lbs!

GOAL WEIGHT 190 lbs – 48.6 lbs to go! The side shot is the biggest difference. Belly look almost same from front but on the side, wow!

Meeting with my daughter to see a movie. Wife was surprisingly nice yesterday. My son and I had a pleasant day too.

I am sticking with diet today but Sundays will be more juicing and fasting.

On day eight, 316 more to go after. Pumped about the weigh in.

Day 7: June 30th

CURRENT WEIGHT 250 lbs (6/24 weigh-in)

GOAL WEIGHT 190 lbs

Weigh in tomorrow. I think I lost a a nice chunk of weight. i will post a pic of the scale and my stomach tomorrow.

I spent time with my son and drove him to his wrestling training. My wife finally spoke to me and seemed supportive but not after drama. We’ll see if she is true to her word. Taking my daughter to movies tomorrow

Been true to my diet but will change my almonds and celery for more alkaline veggies and seeds.

Seven days down, 317 more to go after. I am more positive today about beating the cancer.

Day 6: June 29th

CURRENT WEIGHT 250 lbs (6/24 weigh-in)

GOAL WEIGHT 190 lbs

Very depressed from knowing about the cancer. But got my butt back to work today.

My wife says she cares but went out drinking with her friend. She showed me no comfort or compassion. I told my son and apologized if I can’t be as active with him when he needs things. He seemed sad when I told him I won’t let them cut me open or do any chemo.

I have no urge to fight. I am supposed to see an alternative- natural treatment doctor but I have no urge to seek help. I just look at my life now and see what the future holds and I am not sure it is worth fighting for.

My meals:

Celery, raw broccoli, soaked and cooked lentils, warmed mushrooms and onions, cucumber, green peppers, raw unsalted almonds, blend of some power greens, carrots, blue berries, and an apple.

On day six, 318 more to go after. I have a feeling I won’t make it to the end.

Day 5: June 28th

CURRENT WEIGHT 250 lbs (6/24 weigh-in)

GOAL WEIGHT 190 lbs

Pouring rain so I did not work out again this morning. But my energy is coming back and I have to go to the hospital and get a lot of tests and meet with the doctors after.

My kids or wife still have not checked on me since I started blogging.

I just got back from hospital and worse than expected. I not only do I have hypothyroidism but I have fluid in my heart and… wait for it… three masses that look like cancer on my thyroid, stomach, and lung. After the docs told me I am crazy I am not opting for surgery or chemo. I am going to do this holistic and vegan. I am now hoping my diet not only rescues my depression but my ‘masses’. The wouldn’t say cancer but said likely cancerous. WTF?

When I told my wife she didn’t care. Didn’t offer to help. I am not sure why I should try and not just enjoy myself. I should booze and eat and fuck whores. What I am trying to live for? An empty studio apartment all alone. Suicide seems generous right about now. I am seeing the alternative medicine doctors and nurses next week. Maybe I don’t go and give up. I’ve had enough of this life.

My meals:

Celery, raw broccoli, soaked and cooked lentils, warmed mushrooms and onions, cucumber,green peppers,and raw unsalted almonds. For dinner I had again my blend of some power greens, carrots, blue berries, and an apple.

On day five, 319 more to go after.