My Journey Blog

Day 7: June 30th

CURRENT WEIGHT  250 lbs (6/24 weigh-in)

GOAL WEIGHT 190 lbs

Weigh in tomorrow.  I think I lost a a nice chunk of weight.  i will post a pic of the scale and my stomach tomorrow.

 

I spent time with my son and drove him to his wrestling training.  My wife finally spoke to me and seemed supportive but not after drama.  We’ll see if she is true to her word.  Taking my daughter to movies tomorrow

Been true to my diet but will change my almonds and celery for more alkaline veggies and seeds.

Seven days down, 317 more to go after.  I am more positive today about beating the cancer.

Day 6: June 29th

CURRENT WEIGHT  250 lbs (6/24 weigh-in)

GOAL WEIGHT 190 lbs

Very depressed from knowing about the cancer.  But got my butt back to work today.

My wife says she cares but went out drinking with her friend.  She showed me no comfort or compassion.  I told my son and apologized if I can’t be as active with him when he needs things.  He seemed sad when I told him I won’t let them cut me open or do any chemo.

I have no urge to fight.  I am supposed to see an alternative- natural treatment doctor but I have no urge to seek help.  I just look at my life now and see what the future holds and I am not sure it is worth fighting for.

My meals:

Celery, raw broccoli, soaked and cooked lentils, warmed mushrooms and onions, cucumber, green peppers, raw unsalted almonds, blend of some power greens, carrots, blue berries, and an apple.

On day six, 318 more to go after.  I have a feeling I won’t make it to the end.

Day 5: June 28th

CURRENT WEIGHT  250 lbs (6/24 weigh-in)

GOAL WEIGHT 190 lbs

Pouring rain so I did not work out again this morning.  But my energy is coming back and I have to go to the hospital and get a lot of tests and meet with the doctors after.

My kids or wife still have not checked on me since I started blogging.

I just got back from hospital and worse than expected.  I not only do I have hypothyroidism but I have fluid in my heart and… wait for it… three masses that look like cancer on my thyroid, stomach, and lung.  After the docs told me I am crazy I am not opting for surgery or chemo.  I am going to do this holistic and vegan.  I am now hoping my diet not only rescues my depression but my ‘masses’.  The wouldn’t say cancer but said likely cancerous.  WTF?

When I told my wife she didn’t care.  Didn’t offer to help.  I am not sure why I should try and not just enjoy myself.  I should booze and eat and fuck whores.  What I am trying to live for?  An empty studio apartment all alone.  Suicide seems generous right about now.  I am seeing the alternative medicine doctors and nurses next week.  Maybe I don’t go and give up.  I’ve had enough of this life.

My meals:

Celery, raw broccoli, soaked and cooked lentils, warmed mushrooms and onions, cucumber,green peppers,and raw unsalted almonds.  For dinner I had again my blend of some power greens, carrots, blue berries, and an apple.

On day five, 319 more to go after.

Day 4: June 27th

CURRENT WEIGHT  250 lbs (6/24 weigh-in)

GOAL WEIGHT 190 lbs

I did not work out again this morning.  Could not sleep again. Woke up on and off.

My kids or wife still have not checked on me since I started blogging.  My son did text me if I can take him and a friend somewhere then pick them up later.   I am going to take them to the movies tomorrow if they want to go.  My kids stopped speaking with me it seems.

The diet has noticeably made my stomach smaller.  I have been true to my diet.  I see my doctors tomorrow and getting tested to see if my thyroid issue is affecting my heart.

My meals:

Today – Tangerine, celery, raw broccoli, soaked and cooked lentils, warmed mushrooms and onions, cucumber,green peppers,and raw unsalted almonds.  For dinner I had my blend of some power greens, carrots, blue berries, and an apple.

Four days down, 320 more to go.

Day 3: June 26th

CURRENT WEIGHT 250 lbs(6/24 weigh-in)

GOAL WEIGHT 190 lbs

I did not work out this morning.  Could not sleep. Woke up at 2am and was in and out.  But I am sore so I’ll call this a resting day.  I have to help my friend carry things out of his apartment this evening into his car and help him load it into storage.  So that may be some exercise.

My kids or wife still have not checked on me.  I don’t think they will either.  This diet is making me irritable.  I have no hunger.  I made it to work no problem.  I never mentioned this but I am a manager for a City agency.  I have my own office and a few directors who report to me.  I am surprised my hospitalization, institutionalization, and my depression having hurt my career.  But I am still functioning well at work.  Shocking.

My meals:

So far – Iced coffee, nectarine, celery, raw broccoli, soaked and cooked lentils, warmed mushrooms and onions, cucumber,green peppers,and raw unsalted almonds.  For dinner I had a blend of some power greens, carrots, and an apple.

Three days down, 321 more to go.

Day 2: June 25th

My current weight – 250 (6/24)

GOAL WEIGHT 190

I worked out this morning at 5am.  I went to the gym and killed it on elliptical and did some weight lifting.  I plan to run later.

My kids or wife still have not checked on me.  I know they have better things to do than worry about me.   After I got back from the gym at 6:30am I showered and laid in bed.  My depression got to me again and I didn’t get to work until 11am.  I heard this diet makes you depressed and irritable for first three days.  Today was rough physically.  But I was not hungry.  Craving sweet but not hungry.

My meals:

Iced coffee, Plant Fusion 1 scoop and water, tangerine, some power green salad (no dressing), raw broccoli, carrots, celery, and cucumber, soaked and cooked lentils, warmed mushrooms and onions, and raw unsalted almonds.

Two day down, 322 more to go.

Day 1: June 24th

My current weight – 250

GOAL WEIGHT 190

I got fat.  I got depressed then ate chips, pretzels, vegan ice cream and I drank.  Since I wasn’t looking for a new partner I didn’t care.  I hate my body.  I hate myself.

Today – I am going to lose the weight and get rid of my depression.  It is the first day of my last chance.  If my body stops me or my brain stops me then I was not meant to be happy and I can leave this world knowing I gave it my best effort.  Every 7th day I will weigh myself.

I worked out today.  I went to the gym and worked with the trainer hard and did elliptical.  I ran only a mile I guess due to the trainer over working me.  Felt good for a while.  Walked two miles after. But my depression is still there.  I am still thinking of hurting myself.  This blog has let out a lot of emotions.  My kids or wife never checked if I was OK today.  They have their own lives and all I do is cause problems.  I know if I left this world they all would be better off.  But maybe this diet will open another door.

My meals:

Iced coffee, Plant Fusion 1 scoop and water, red apple, tangerine, power green salad (no dressing), raw broccoli, raw onions, carrots, celery, lightly cooked mushrooms and onion.  Oh, and raw unsalted almonds.  That’s all I ate today.  No dressing.  And I feel full.

1 day down, 323 to go until my 41st Birthday.  I made it to tomorrow.